Nostalgia kicks in.

It's depressing to see everything go by so fast. College entrance results are out, the first results were from ADMU. Not making it sucks so much. It's like it sucked the life out of me, like there's this blackhole in the middle of my stomach. Just waiting to be filled. I feel empty, i don't mean to sound emo. But I seriously find this pathetic. I can't say I'm happy with where I'm at. What am I going to look forward to when I keep screwing things like this up? I can't think straight. I don't know what'll happen. Maybe partly because I refuse to accept defeat and compromise. I really thought all of this would work out. But it's isn't. It's tangled and messed up. It's like a shitty world in your face. My family says it's okay. I know they're disappointed with me, so there's no point in convincing myself otherwise. I can't imagine how I'm going to make it out of this one. I don't want to sour grape or make lameass excuses. But it really feels so suckish. My ability to cry when i sense the smallest feeling of frustration and disappointment is so pathetic I wanna pull my eyes out. I don't know what to do anymore. Fuck this. I fail big time.